the host is a really great fucking movie ok?
I was honestly just so happy all day and thought that nobody could bring me down. I was wrong. If you don’t want me there, just say it. Don’t ignore me. Everyone else is perfectly fine with me, but my best friends opinion is the only one that matters. I’m tired of being left out, I’m home watching a movie I’ve wanted to see for so long and it should be great but it’s not because the only thing I can think about is how I’m not wanted around anywhere. I am being fucking devoured by loneliness, and I don’t want to go down this path again. But I will because I can’t talk to you and I will never be able to.

Look what just arrived!
just ordered a “holga 135” and some film 😁
I just got really emotional seeing all the grad pictures up on Facebook. I think it’s just knowing that my best friend will be leaving and everyone I know and care about will be leaving and ill be left here. Alone. I should have gone to the meet and greet I should be there now but I’m not because I’m a shit fucking friend.

this is the progress I made in gym today

my lunch today x
Depression feels like a black cloud is surrounding you and it follows you everywhere you go. Except, you can’t see it and neither can anybody else until something happens to set you off or trigger you and then the cloud becomes visible. Everything and everyone just looks dark and damp. You breathe but the smog gets in your lungs and you suffocate. Slowly but surely, you suffocate until there’s nothing left but littles bits and pieces in a pile on the floor. You will continue to walk though, like a zombie. That’s what they don’t tell you. The bits and pieces get left behind and you’re dead but you keep on walking. I feel like soon, all of the pieces will be gone, and you know what? I don’t feel like ill have the strength to go find then by then. I really don’t want to either.
I just really fucking hate everyone here. I’m sitting alone and just thinking about everyone’s reaction if I were dead. None of them would care. None of them.
I just find treasure trails and scruff extremely attractive..
I just woke up from the sound of rain hitting off my window for the first time in my life. I don’t know.. I just thought that was beautiful and had to let you all know.
The thing that I’ve come to notice about sad people is that they always laugh far too much. It makes me feel so horrible when I hear a sad person laugh.
sometimes I want to sit down and cry for days, because everything seems so perfect and my confidence is built back up but then that one person completely breaks me down. it’s not just some random person either, it’s a friend, best friend, guy I like, person I look up to. It’s all shit, you know? everything and every single one of them is shit, at some point you’ll realize you are to.
Does anybody remember the show creepy Canada? I don’t know If it only came on in Canada or what but I remember they did an episode on the old hag (which is a story that originated from bell island in Newfoundland), and last night I didn’t try to lucid dream but I had one if those dreams and it was the most terrifying thing that has ever happened to me!
I really want to get the pandora hearts manga or comics or whatever. I seriously need to know what happens next